HappyChucks   For Families Navigating the Autism Waters

Life can be a grind sometimes, and it's easy to get stuck in the day-to-day minutiae. This can be even more true for families with kids on the autism spectrum – sometimes just getting through a day is all you can hope for! It's those days in particular when I like to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of how much progress Calvin has made.

When you get caught up in the mindset of looking at each day as a success or failure, the failures can outweigh the successes, and it can drive you crazy. "He had a good day today. He had a bad day today – meltdown. He had an ok day. He had a bad day – wouldn't work. He had a good day. He had a bad day – no sleep." Etc. Etc. It becomes very hard to see any progress, and the bad days can wear you out.

I plotted "Relative Happiness" against "Each Day". Notice the highs and lows from day to day. ps – this is a hypothetical graph (I haven't been charting happiness every day!)

As time passes, you might find that he has more good days in a row before a bad day, or that the bad days aren't quite as bad as they used to be. But if you're still looking at daily results, you might not see it. You'll be too stressed out from yesterday's bad day, fretting over when it's going to happen again.

Notice we're higher up on the "Relative Happiness" scale, and we're having more good days than bad days. But it's still hard to see any kind of trend.

It's when you can take a step back and look at the bigger picture that you really see the positive results of all your (and your child's) hard work. How is he doing today compared with 3-6 months ago? How about compared with a year ago? Pull out your pictures from last year (or your video or journal) to remind yourself of what the struggles were. You'll probably find that today's bad days are better than yester-year's good days. And today's good days were unimaginable – a dream – not too long ago.

This is the full chart that the previous two were excerpted from. Now, looking at a 2-year block of time, it's pretty easy to see the forward progress.

Keeping things in perspective is something that I find helps a great deal.

Ad: Nothing beats a Digital Camera for taking great pictures.

I don't know about you, but the Holidays tend to get a little crazy around here. We get the benefit of hosting the festivities at our house, which is nice because it gives Calvin a home-court advantage (being at home helps him relax and participate better within the large group.)

The downside, though, is that we have to host the festivities at our house – cleaning, preparing, most of the cooking, and in general being on our "A game" for 3 different holiday events, 3 days in a row! Add in the fun of shopping and wrapping presents, and it's no surprise that life is going to get a little hectic between now and the new year.

I'm sure most of you can relate!

This will most likely be my last post for a couple of weeks – my goal is to both survive and enjoy the holidays, and it's going to require as much time & energy as I can give it! ;-)

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful holiday season, and we'll look forward to great things in 2008!

There are a lot of great autism-related websites, mail-serves, and blogs out there already; why do we need another?  I'm not sure it's a question of actually needing another, as much as it is would another provide any additional value?  I believe that it will - that I have some information, insights, and experiences that others can learn from.  And I believe that we can generate enough conversations that I can learn a great deal more from others out there..

So, without furhter ado, here are some questions you're probably going to ask me..

Who am I?
That’s a difficult question to answer!  I am Calvin's & Jonas’ dad, and Cheryl’s husband.  I lead a group of Realtors in the Greater Phoenix area (business bio here), and have lived here since 1970 – not quite a native, but awfully close!  I’ve spent most of my life seeking out face-paced, high-energy activities, but have begun to enjoy slowing down a little bit; lately I’ve found an interest in writing and digital photography.

What’s my link to autism?
My older son was diagnosed with autism at 18 months-old.  By 20 months he was in a full-time, 40 hours a week, intensive ABA-type home program.  Since that time, we’ve experienced an entire new world – one that we never even knew existed before then.  Therapies, food and diet, medicines and homeopathy,  education and IEPs...  I can’t say we’ve done it all, but we’ve done quite a bit, and we’re learning and experiencing more every day.

What is this blog about?
This is an outlet for me to share what I’ve learned and experienced, as well as new things I think about each day, with others.  Anything is fair game – discussion about various therapies, products, schools & school districts, activities, events, news, stories, or anything else that I feel like writing about.  Hopefully my writing will touch a few chords; if I can generate some interaction with others “out there” then I can probably learn even more than I share.

Why am I doing this, and what do I hope to accomplish?
For me, the time just felt right to start this project.  I have a lot of good information that others can benefit from, and this is a great way to share it with the people who are looking for it.  Cheryl & I have spoken with a lot of families along the way, but it’s generally because of a word of mouth introduction – somebody’s child get a diagnosis, and they know someone who knows us and recommends they give us a call.

I’ve been blogging about Phoenix Real Estate on ButterHomes.com for over a year now, and have really enjoyed it.  But it’s restrictive – I can’t write about everything I want to, and I’m writing for a completely different community.  I want to use my experience from ButterHomes.com to build a place where families can learn, teach, and share their experiences.

If I can help one family...  Get diagnosed earlier; Improve their therapy choices; Gain better education for their child;  Brainstorm a better way; or even just to make sense of the why’s and how’s...  If I can do any of that, then I’ve made a difference.  If I can do it repeatedly, than I’ve really accomplished something.  And I’m willing to bet that along the way I’m going to learn some great new things that can help Calvin and my family as well.

What does HappyChucks mean?
Ask anyone who knows Calvin what’s the first thing they think of when they hear his name, and you’ll get 5-10 different answers.  But the two answers you’ll hear most often will be:

Happy.  Calvin is one of the happiest boys I know, and he shares his infectious smile with everyone around him.

Chucks.  good old fashioned Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars.  One time we bought Calvin a pair of Chuck Taylors, just because they looked good on him.  That week his teacher asked if he could wear them every day, since they were the first shoes he could not kick off during class!  He has been wearing them almost exclusively ever since, and has several pairs in several colors.  It’s become his trademark.

What type of Fundraising efforts have I/we done?
We’ve spearheaded “teams” to raise funds at the Walk Far for NAAR walks.

We’ve organized groups to walk at the Zoo Walk for Autism and Zoo Walk for ASD.

I’ve done pro-bono business consulting for Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center (SARRC).

Cheryl chaired the Wine & Cheese w/ Silent Auction for Kris’ Camp in 2007, and is currently chairing the same event for 2008.

I developed and implemented the Friends of Kris’ Camp program, with funds being shared between Kris’ Camp and Neurologic Music Therapy Services of Arizona (NMTSA).

I am currently chairing the 2007 Holiday Raffle for NMTSA.

We have donated time, energy, and expertise along the way – sitting on various committees, attending functions and events, and volunteering.

So far we’ve helped to raise over $25,000 for various autism-related charities.

I imagine this will be a long road, with lots of changes along the way.  What this blog looks like, what we discuss here, and how frequently - are all open to change.  I'm looking forward to having some fun, learning a few things, and making a difference.  Thanks for reading.

 

What time does this post?

 It's written & published at 5:15 PM Arizona time (MST).  But the datestamp shows 11:15 - why is that?

Progress is slow, but steady.  I found some of the colors & fonts, but others are still hiding from me.  Today I added categories, and I'm going to try to insert a picture into this post.

I wasn't able to use Word to publish my post, so I'm still using the dotnet editor..  What happens when I change font, or font-color, here?  (upon further review - how do I change font-color?)

Oh, well.  Someday I'll get this darn thing up & running..  (and someday Santa will get to our house!)

OK, so it looks like I've got this site up and ready to accept new posts.  Lots of work still to do, though, in the housecleaning department.  Need to fix some uglies, add a left-hand column, add pages for About Me and Why This Blog, and more.  And it looks like new pages aren't automatically adding links to the header - Doh!  I didn't really want to become a full-time web developer!